Remember me?
Because I know you’re clamoring for my oh-so-fascinating words:
- You may now refer to me as “Supreme Leader.”
- I am still very busy and World Wide Internets* do not fit into my schedule. This is not permanent. I have a plan.
- I may decide to live in a cardboard box soon, as my job is insanity-inducing and I don’t know how much longer I can do it.
- I joined the Y. The downtown facility is sexy – much like your Supreme Leader (I keed! I keed!)
- I am sick of people embarrassing our state in front of the rest of the country.**
- Iran seems like a shitty place to live. Also, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad really needs a stylist – he is a terrible dresser. I like to call him “Members Only” since he looks like he’s wearing a Members Only jacket – unfortunately, now that I Google the two, I see that I wasn’t the only one to make this connection.
- I’m calling the President next time there’s a fly in my house. Apparently PETA’s pissing and moaning about the flyacide. GROAN.
*I’ve got to say, I’m simultaneously jealous/resentful of you folks who get to use the internet however you like while at work. I guess I’d have an easier time keeping up with Google Reader and Twitter, too, if I could use the internet for things other than looking up weird medical conditions while at my desk. Seriously, though, even if they didn’t treat us like children at my office, I still wouldn’t have the time. I stay excessively busy.
**Dear Other 49 States,
We are not all ignorant, racist, regressive white trash in Tennessee.
Love,
Jane Q. Public
This should teach everyone not to forward racist emails to mass mailing lists. You have to hand-pick who you’re going to send your racist jokes to.
Ron
June 18, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Also, you seem less like a Supreme Leader and more like a Brilliant Comrade, if we’re adopting North Korean-style honorifics. However, having a Plan might bump you up to SL. Will have to check the Communist Manifesto for an official ruling.
I’d like to be known as Lord High Potentate, myself.
Ron
June 18, 2009 at 6:16 pm
While watching the World Cup qualifier between Iran and South Korea last night, I noticed a handful of Iranian fans in attendance. I wonder if they’ll plan to extend their stay in South Korea a few weeks… or months… or years? (But seriously, I know that shit isn’t funny.)
I miss my free Y membership. I want a gym membership really bad. It’s getting too hot and humid to ride my bike now.
By the way, I’m temporarily unemployed for a few weeks, so I’m free to hang out anytime if you want.
valerie
June 19, 2009 at 3:34 am
Miss you.
Toaster
June 19, 2009 at 11:17 am