jane q. public

Because I know you’re clamoring for my oh-so-fascinating words:

1. You may now refer to me as “Supreme Leader.”
2. I am still very busy and World Wide Internets* do not fit into my schedule. This is not permanent. I have a plan.
3. I may decide to live in a cardboard box soon, as my job is insanity-inducing and I don’t know how much longer I can do it.
4. I joined the Y.  The downtown facility is sexy – much like your Supreme Leader (I keed! I keed!)
5. I am sick of people embarrassing our state in front of the rest of the country.**
6. Iran seems like a shitty place to live.  Also, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad really needs a stylist – he is a terrible dresser.  I like to call him “Members Only” since he looks like he’s wearing a Members Only jacket – unfortunately, now that I Google the two, I see that I wasn’t the only one to make this connection.
7. I’m calling the President next time there’s a fly in my house.  Apparently PETA’s pissing and moaning about the flyacide.  GROAN.

*I’ve got to say, I’m simultaneously jealous/resentful of you folks who get to use the internet however you like while at work.  I guess I’d have an easier time keeping up with Google Reader and Twitter, too, if I could use the internet for things other than looking up weird medical conditions while at my desk.  Seriously, though, even if they didn’t treat us like children at my office, I still wouldn’t have the time.  I stay excessively busy. 

**Dear Other 49 States,

We are not all ignorant, racist, regressive white trash in Tennessee.

Love,

Jane Q. Public

ALSO: Chez Bez

Yup.

I was annoyed because there wasn’t a fabric store anywhere convenient to me (Sylvan Heights).  Textile Fabrics is probably the closest, but they were closed.  Wal-Mart doesn’t have what I need.  I decided to make the drive to Rivergate and hit up Jo-Ann.  Apparently this was a mistake.

From The Twittah:

• So when I get coolant in my car, am I ok to proceed to the fabric store or do I have to go home?
• I’m safely (I think) on the shoulder, but I hate the way I can feel the car move when people zoom by me.
• Dad’s now my favorite parent since @tatie, who is much closer, wouldn’t come to the rescue.
• @chuckmilam I swear I had plans to top off coolant and check the oil this weekend. Just my luck!
• I give up.
• Well, that sucked.

I guess my tweet about not wanting to end up as the subject of a true crime show narrated by Bill Kurtis never made it.

In spite of how shitty the experience was, I’ve got to say that I am so grateful for technology.  I couldn’t make it to an exit, and my anxiety would have made that pretty unbearable (and unsafe) had I not had a cell phone.  Furthermore, my first tweet (“Overheated on 65N”) got me a direct message with an offer for help within about a minute, as did a text to Dr. Frankenfurter.

Not being very savvy about cars, I didn’t realize that 20-30 minutes was too long to have the lights and radio on.  Since it was getting darker, I wanted the lights on so people could see me.  Bad choice.  Once dad got the coolant in, my car wouldn’t start because the battery was dead.  We weren’t able to safely get his car close enough to mine to make the jumper cables work (the 25 foot cables are going back in my trunk tomorrow), but when we were trying to make it work a cop showed up* and called TDOT.

Unfortunately, I didn’t make it 5 minutes before I was overheating again.  The leak in this radiator is worse than the one I had in the Camry (I used to have to put water in it every time I drove until I replaced the radiator).  Luckily, dad was following me, so we left my car at a Kroger in Inglewood (great idea, I know), and we’re going to see what we can do about it in the morning… if it’s still there.

Originally I intended to post something more entertaining and less rambling about this, but that was before I became a zombie.  If you read this far, I am sorry.

*I liked this cop much better than the dbag cop who drove right past me 5 minutes before dad arrived.  That dude neither protected nor did he serve.

I’ve got a special selection this week.  Last night I found the soundtrack to a personal favorite of mine on iTunes – Deep Throat (as I announced on Twitter last night – DON’T ACT LIKE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT!).  For obvious reasons, I just couldn’t find a clip on YouTube that adequately showcased any of the songs I liked from the movie, so I threw together one of my own (it’s nothing visually stunning – or titillating – I just needed to make something … pardon the pun … quick and dirty).

I present it to you with the hope that you have a lot of fun this weekend, but don’t do anything that Linda Lovelace wouldn’t do!  (Oh and … sorry, mom!)

I’m feeling generally annoyed with/discouraged by everything.

That was short enough for Twitter, but I thought I’d stick it here since it’s not fair to make people read the “woe is me” crap unwillingly.

I need November 4th/5th to get here so I can have some temporary distraction from my mundane little insurance-y life.