jane q. public

send whips of opinion down my back, give me more

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 1 of 5

People are unintentionally annoying and/or infuriating when you’re planning a wedding. Luckily, I made it through that without harming anyone. Unfortunately, they’re a thousand times worse when you’re expecting your first baby.

I’m going to do a little venting about this over the next few days (it was a little teal deer for a single post), so you’ve been warned. I know some of y’all don’t care for the mommy stuff (whether it’s irrelevant to you because you don’t have kids or don’t want them), but it may still be interesting. At the very least, you can learn ways to not be stabbed in the eyeball by me. So keep that in mind before you decide that you don’t want to read on.

Got it? Ok. Let the complaining commence!

The first set of annoying people, who are probably most obvious, are those who feel like it’s suddenly ok to comment on your body. I’ve been told by friends that they’ve had to deal with people hounding them because they were “too small” – this, of course, has not been a problem for me, but I can totally see it happening to others.

If you’re too small, the doctor will say so and take the necessary steps from there. Your aunt is not a doctor (unless she is), and she needs to mind her own business. I think that, more often than not, these women probably aren’t too little, but in our culture, the people criticizing them have totally bought into the whole “you’re eating for two” thing.

“Eating for two” is a bunch of crap, and any pregnancy book or paperwork from the doctor will tell you so. You’re only supposed to eat 300-500 extra calories per day, based on what your doctor determines. Throw gestational diabetes into the mix and your diet gets super restrictive.

Ok, I got away from my point… So then there’s the other side of the coin. Maybe you’ve gotten really big, whether it’s because of cookie cravings (I’m guilty – this describes the majority of my first two trimesters), or maybe it’s just your genes. People will say anything – “Wow, you’re huge!” or “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” – as if these things are any less offensive and hurtful than they would be if you were just overweight and not pregnant at all. No tact.

You will also get boob comments. This is going to get to some people and not to others, but typically, it’s just not really socially acceptable to go up to someone, pregnant or not, and comment on the size of their boobs. From my experience, guys seem to know better than to try this, so most of the comments are from women. It just makes me uncomfortable if someone tells me how huge my tits are other than my husband*. Besides, mine are big to the point of being tacky rather than awesome. Just ignore the milk machines and move on, y’all.

So the body stuff bugs me, especially since I’m a self-conscious person, but that’s nothing compared to the way I react to other peoples’ constant negativity. You’ll hear about that next.

*He doesn’t really say anything about it. I think he’s scared of me. Wise.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.


Written by janeqpublic

March 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Posted in women

Tagged with , , , , ,

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