jane q. public

send whips of opinion down my back, give me more

Posts Tagged ‘family

Not great

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It’s an honor* to be initiated into the club of parents whose entire household gets taken down by a stomach bug. I guess I should be grateful that we made it through nearly two years as parents before this happened. I’ll get right on that grateful thing as soon as I’m done feeling like dog shit.

Needless to say, I didn’t run today. I’ll feel guilty about that – again, when I stop feeling like used Dog Chow.

Judging by how long Z was sick, this should be over pretty quickly. Bleh.

Time for me to get back to thinking I’m going to puke/never puking.

*not an honor

Written by janeqpublic

March 6, 2014 at 5:35 am

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Because he’s awesome

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I just need a second to brag about how awesome my husband is.

He has been amazing since the day I met him, and he’s supported me through a good deal of crap – especially the unrelenting trauma that was my old job. He even made it possible for me to quit that horrible job, and has been patient with me as I’ve continued to be unemployed. He’s waited on me hand and foot throughout this entire pregnancy, and doesn’t lose his cool with me when I’m moody – which is all the time now.

I’ve spent a lot of time complaining here lately, partly because that’s just what pregnancy does to you and partly because I don’t like to overload social media with it where people can’t ignore the whining (I think we all know people who do that, and it gets so tiresome). It just seemed like I should bring up something good.

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April 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Friday the 13th indeed

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I’m starting to question whether or not I will stick with this OB/GYN after the baby is born. I like the doctor, and I really haven’t had any problems with the office until the last few weeks. I’m not sure whether or not it’s worth changing, but today really took the cake.

Let me rewind briefly to yesterday. I had been stressed out, as I’ve mentioned before, because I had had such a large gap between yesterday’s appointment and the previous one. Needless to say, I was glad to be there yesterday, but the visit didn’t exactly go well. From the time my appointment was supposed to begin to the time I was put in an exam room, J.R. and I waited exactly 35 minutes. From the time we were put into the exam room until the time the doctor came in was another 30 minutes. Maybe having to wait a long time isn’t a big deal, but at that moment, it was for me. It was hot, I was tired and uncomfortable, and I was already frustrated with the doctor’s office in the first place. Plus, J.R. needed to get back to work. It just pissed me off.

The exam itself went well. I will spare you the gory details (I don’t think a cervix is all that gory, but whatever), but a little progress has been made.

I was told to expect a call with my induction date today. As long as the hospital’s schedule could accommodate, the induction would be sometime before next Friday (my actual due date).

This was a great relief to me, not only because I’d see some light at the end of the tunnel, but also because I’ve been exceedingly nervous about the baby’s size. I just didn’t want it to get to the point where I had no choice but to have a C-section.

So today I waited for the call. Around 10:30 I told J.R. that I felt like I should call at some point because I was just so sure, with my luck, that they would forget me. He agreed, and we decided on 1:10 because, while I didn’t know what time the office closed on Fridays, I knew it closed early – but surely not at 1:00. I tacked on 10 minutes just to give them a chance to get back from lunch.

1:10 arrived with no call, so I picked up my phone and dialed. I got the recorded message that they had closed. I hung up and called back just in case. The same. Then I went into some hysterical crying, as I knew I would if this went awry. I hadn’t exhausted my options though, so I calmed myself down and called the hospital’s L&D unit. They didn’t want to tell me. Awesome. So then I cried so much I frightened the dogs. This is when J.R. decided he’d call my doctor’s office and talk to whatever doctor was on call and insist on an answer. I was grateful, because there was no settling down for me at that point.

Eventually he called me back and said someone was still in the office, so he’d spoken to them. They “weren’t able to get with L&D,” but they would be calling me first thing Monday morning. Well, what the fuck could I do?

I just gave up.

Then I went and got the computer and started typing this. Somewhere in the last few paragraphs, my phone rang. It was my doctor’s nurse – the one who schedules the inductions. Apparently MY DOCTOR FORGOT to give her my chart after my appointment yesterday, so she had no instruction to even call and schedule the fucking induction.

The good news – and I hesitate to even call it that – is that she was able to get in touch with L&D to get me scheduled. The bad news is that I’m scheduled for my due date (next Friday) – and who knows how big the baby will be by then? Perhaps they could have gotten me an earlier spot, had this been handled correctly from the start.

But my doctor just forgot. Does this mean I’ve got to worry about her forgetting and leaving fucking forceps in my business, too?

I hoped that the frantic crying spell might just get contractions going, but no such luck. All I can do is just sit here and wait.

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April 14, 2012 at 1:57 am

I like it, I love it – except for the excruciating pain

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I never did make another attempt at rescheduling that doctor’s appointment. It just seemed like a waste of my time. I’ll be going in in nine hours.

I have no idea what is going to happen. I’m 8 days from my due date, and the doctor had previously mentioned something about inducing at 39 weeks, so I don’t know if we will schedule something while we’re there or not. If we don’t, I’m probably going to break down, so maybe I should skip makeup.

It seems like a lot of people get a sweep prior to trying induction, so maybe that’s what she’ll do. I assume that can be done easily during my exam. I have no idea if I’ve progressed any from my last check (how would I know?), but I don’t feel like anything has changed.

One weird thing did happen tonight, though. I have been skipping some hockey games lately (which, for me to do that, is pretty shocking), but I opted to go tonight because it was the Predators’ first playoff game of 2012, and probably the last one I’ll see depending on the breastfeeding situation and how deep into the playoffs the team goes.

Anyway, I’d felt fine (as much as you can feel fine at the tail end of pregnancy) all day, so I figured I could manage. However, I started having this horrible pain on the lower left side of my back. I’ve never had any kidney issues, so I can’t say for sure, but I kind of convinced myself that’s what it was.

The pain got progressively worse, and I ended up deciding I would have to leave after the first period – anyone who knows me knows that something is really wrong if I leave a game early, and leaving a playoff game is unheard of.

I made J.R. stay, and I had my mom take me home because I knew that I wasn’t having contractions. Naturally, about 10 minutes after we arrived at my house, the damn pain stopped. I’m kind of pissed that I had to leave the game and didn’t even get a baby for my trouble.

Oh well. At least the Predators won.

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April 12, 2012 at 11:40 am

Ready to throw things

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At this point I have a whole list of stupid shit I’ve tried in order to get labor started. I guess that will have to go in the baby book. None of it works.

I called my OB’s office this morning to try and move my appointment up (they had me scheduled for Friday, which was just over two weeks from my previous appointment since she was out of town last week). They rescheduled it for me. FOR THURSDAY.

I, woman of no backbone, just said ok and then spent the following half hour sobbing like I haven’t done since my miserable days at the insurance agency.

You would think that they would give a little bit of scheduling priority for someone who has what is technically considered a high risk pregnancy (due to the GDM), but apparently not.

I should have called back after the crying spell and insisted on some help, but instead I got in bed and stared at the wall until I fell asleep for another four hours.

I have to figure out what to say when I call back again tomorrow morning, but why bother? I’ll just end up accepting no for an answer without protest like always. I can make a good Julia Sugarbaker speech in my head, but when it comes to reality, I just let people run all over me.

Obviously this is getting me down. I’m also more easily angered every day. I don’t even like the “How are you feeling?” texts I get. I just want to answer “Like shit. How else would I feel?” But that’s not nice.

I even had a couple of moments today where I was ready to bite a good friend’s head off – but trust me when I say she earned it.

So I’m crankier and crankier, and it’s not going to get any better. I know everyone is just so over it late in pregnancy, but very little of this is about the physical discomfort for me (though it’s no picnic). I’m mostly stressed out because I’m so worried about this baby getting too big.

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April 10, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Not the kind of panic I expected

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I’m upset, but I waited until too late in the day to get upset.

I should backtrack a little. Predictably, the eggplant parmesan didn’t work (it was good, though). I went to a hockey game last night, absolutely sure I’d go into labor there. Nope. I don’t feel any different, either. It seems like this baby is nowhere near coming out.

I hit 38 weeks today. At my last visit to the OB, she had made brief mention of induction in week 39, which is fine. It’s not that I’m so miserable that I couldn’t go to 40 weeks, but I’m just concerned about having to have a C-section if they were to wait so long that she was too big.

When I last saw her, the scheduler set up my next appointment. Because the doctor was out of town this week, they set it for the following week (next week). Apparently the only slot they had for me was for a Friday (the 13th, actually). At the time, I kind of thought it sucked that I would have to wait so long, but I didn’t think too much more about it. Plus, I think I had this idea in the back of my mind that I was going to go into labor before then.

Well, here I am at the beginning of week 38, feeling like this baby isn’t interested in showing up early, which means I may very well need an induction if I want to get this thing started before she’s so big that a C-section is my only option. Having my next OB appointment scheduled for the beginning of my 39th week is making me nervous. Then when do you schedule the induction? Probably not over the weekend. So that puts me halfway into my 39th week. Then how big is the baby?

I don’t want to have my hand forced on a C-section just because of someone else’s schedule.

I wouldn’t veto the doctor if she thought going straight for a C-section was going to be the safest thing for my baby or myself. People who do that may just end up with emergency C-sections anyway. But I don’t want to let it get to that point. I need for this baby to still be at a size where it’s safe for me to at least just try to do this myself.

Up until now, I have not been one of those paranoid or overbearing pregnant women, but this may be the difference between someone cutting my stomach open or not. I’m going to  call Monday morning and find out if the doctor has had any cancellations earlier in the week. If not, someone in there is going to have to see me. We’ve spent enough money in there at this point that they ought to listen.

I’m still hoping for a small miracle before then. Currently all my hope falls on tonight’s full moon. That sounds ridiculous, I know, but people buy into it. There’s really no science to back it up, but supposedly the birth rates are higher the day before, day of and day after a full moon. So I have tonight and tomorrow.

I also had a nice spicy taco soup for dinner, though normal levels of spice haven’t helped so far – which is why we’re doing hot chicken tomorrow. I’ve thought about Prince’s over the last week, but I’ve honestly been a little worried that it could be too much spice for the baby. Now I’m ready to give it a shot. As it turns out, we’re going to have to get it from some other hot chicken place in Antioch tomorrow, because they open earlier than Prince’s. If hot chicken doesn’t do it, who knows if Pitocin would even work?

So, yeah, I’m a little emotional this evening.

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April 7, 2012 at 5:05 am

Getting there

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Yay! As of today I am done with the gestational diabetes doctor and his depressing office. I’m also done stabbing my fingers four times a day. I’ll get into why I’m critical of the way GDM is diagnosed another day.

On the plus side, we got yet another ultrasound, and everything was good. Well, except of course for the fact that she’s now an estimated 8 pounds and 3 ounces (give or take 18 ounces). Pretty huge since I’m still a few days away from the 38 week mark.

After tonight we will also be done with the childbirth classes as well. I didn’t mind those, but I’m not sure that they were all that necessary for me. I think I knew pretty much everything we were taught already from the books that I read. Still, it was good to hear about some of the hospital-specific protocol. I’d imagine J.R. took a lot away from it.

All that leaves now are the weekly appointments with the OB. She’s out of town this week, so I don’t even see her again until the end of next week. I’m hoping that labor will happen on its own prior to that. Aside from the baby’s ever-increasing size, I’m so uncomfortable!

We’ve tried all of the standard stupid things that are supposed to get the contractions started, none of which worked. We’ve even tried some weirder stuff that was suggested. My favorite was the huge batch of cookies. Obviously they didn’t do anything, but they were delicious. Basically, they’re ginger cookies with cayenne added. We used this recipe, but J.R. changed it to a heaping teaspoon of cayenne. I could’ve handled more, but it would have probably overwhelmed the rest of the cookie.

After a suggestion on Twitter, we went a different route last night. There is an Italian restaurant called Scalini’s near Atlanta that serves an eggplant parmesan, which they claim sends women into labor within 48 hours. I had heard this mentioned before (maybe by J.R. or my in-laws), but at this stage in the game, I was ready to give it a shot. Obviously I can’t make a road trip like that at this stage, especially for a plate of eggplant parmesan, which is why I was glad that they were kind enough to include the recipe on their website. Besides, as with the cookies, I wasn’t losing out if it didn’t work – I was getting a tasty meal.

We had the eggplant parmesan for dinner, and I’m about to have some leftovers for lunch. So, you know, maybe.

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April 5, 2012 at 12:08 am

Thanks for your unwanted advice

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This weekend I mentioned to someone that I’d like to avoid pacifiers if possible – it’s not something I feel strongly about, but I figured going without was worth a shot. Anyway, she said I might as well get over that because they would shove one in the baby’s mouth in the nursery.

This, I told her, was one of the reasons I will be having the baby room in with me – which is something I do feel strongly about. Then she tells me I won’t want to do that, especially if I want to get a nap.

Um no.

For one thing, in addition to the standard pregnancy and childbirth books, everyone to whom I’ve mentioned the rooming in thing thinks it’s a good idea.

Additionally, my husband is taking time off of work for this, so if I need a nap, he’s there. I’m sure my mom will be happy to help as well.

Stop giving me advice I didn’t ask for.

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March 28, 2012 at 8:26 am

Big ass baby

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Oh boy. I guess “oh girl” is more appropriate.

I went to the doctor today and the good old measuring tape has me measuring at 38 weeks. Tomorrow, I will be 35 weeks pregnant. So yeah.

I should mention that this does not mean that the due date has been miscalculated – I know pretty much exactly when I got pregnant because we were trying.

My main question (which came up, of course, after we left the doctor’s office) was this: have her lungs developed at the same rate – meaning that it would be safe to give birth at any time – or is it just her body that’s three weeks ahead of schedule? I had trouble getting anything definitive, but a little googling has be believing that her lung maturity probably isn’t quite there yet. No big deal. I have no reason to believe that I’m in any danger of going to labor in the next couple of weeks, but I honestly wish it was ok for her to come out now. I’m anxious to meet her, and I’m so, so over being pregnant.

Oh well.

The good news is that in two weeks, I really will be at full term, and then it will be ok for her to show up any time.

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March 16, 2012 at 7:35 am

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 5 of 5

Lastly, there are the people who are pessimistic about breastfeeding.

I recently offered up two canisters of Enfamil formula on Twitter. They showed up in my mailbox that afternoon (either thanks to Motherhood Maternity or Baptist Hospital selling my contact information – yay!), and I don’t need or want them, because I am determined to breastfeed. I got a well-meaning response telling me that I might want to hang on to them because the individual’s wife had to give up on breastfeeding after a few weeks.

Like I said, it was well-meaning, but it was more negativity that I was not interested in hearing. This is the way I’ve chosen to do it, and this is how I’m going to do it. If I fail, you can quietly pat yourself on the back, but for now, there is no reason not to be positive. Plenty of people succeed at it.

Furthermore, I’ve read a lot about breastfeeding and I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on how to do it, and what to do if there’s a problem. Every single thing I’ve read about it says that if it’s not working out, don’t give up without talking to a doctor, nurse or lactation consultant. They might know something you don’t. It’s worth a shot.

On a side note, I don’t understand why people don’t at least give it a chance (barring medical complications like HIV). Even if you don’t give a shit about all of the benefits to the baby, there are benefits for you, too. The main two being weight loss (you burn a lot of calories breastfeeding) and a considerable savings (formula is expensive). Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems like something you should try rather than dismissing it out of hand.

I think that the bottom line is this: whether or not you’ve had kids, you need to be conscious of what you say to people who are expecting. At best, they’ve already heard it, and at worst, you’re really going to piss them off. It’s probably best to keep your lips zipped until you are asked for advice or opinions. Or you can just hold an aspirin between your lips.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.

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March 10, 2012 at 5:15 am