jane q. public

send whips of opinion down my back, give me more

Posts Tagged ‘women

Big ass baby

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Oh boy. I guess “oh girl” is more appropriate.

I went to the doctor today and the good old measuring tape has me measuring at 38 weeks. Tomorrow, I will be 35 weeks pregnant. So yeah.

I should mention that this does not mean that the due date has been miscalculated – I know pretty much exactly when I got pregnant because we were trying.

My main question (which came up, of course, after we left the doctor’s office) was this: have her lungs developed at the same rate – meaning that it would be safe to give birth at any time – or is it just her body that’s three weeks ahead of schedule? I had trouble getting anything definitive, but a little googling has be believing that her lung maturity probably isn’t quite there yet. No big deal. I have no reason to believe that I’m in any danger of going to labor in the next couple of weeks, but I honestly wish it was ok for her to come out now. I’m anxious to meet her, and I’m so, so over being pregnant.

Oh well.

The good news is that in two weeks, I really will be at full term, and then it will be ok for her to show up any time.

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Written by janeqpublic

March 16, 2012 at 7:35 am

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 5 of 5

Lastly, there are the people who are pessimistic about breastfeeding.

I recently offered up two canisters of Enfamil formula on Twitter. They showed up in my mailbox that afternoon (either thanks to Motherhood Maternity or Baptist Hospital selling my contact information – yay!), and I don’t need or want them, because I am determined to breastfeed. I got a well-meaning response telling me that I might want to hang on to them because the individual’s wife had to give up on breastfeeding after a few weeks.

Like I said, it was well-meaning, but it was more negativity that I was not interested in hearing. This is the way I’ve chosen to do it, and this is how I’m going to do it. If I fail, you can quietly pat yourself on the back, but for now, there is no reason not to be positive. Plenty of people succeed at it.

Furthermore, I’ve read a lot about breastfeeding and I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on how to do it, and what to do if there’s a problem. Every single thing I’ve read about it says that if it’s not working out, don’t give up without talking to a doctor, nurse or lactation consultant. They might know something you don’t. It’s worth a shot.

On a side note, I don’t understand why people don’t at least give it a chance (barring medical complications like HIV). Even if you don’t give a shit about all of the benefits to the baby, there are benefits for you, too. The main two being weight loss (you burn a lot of calories breastfeeding) and a considerable savings (formula is expensive). Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems like something you should try rather than dismissing it out of hand.

I think that the bottom line is this: whether or not you’ve had kids, you need to be conscious of what you say to people who are expecting. At best, they’ve already heard it, and at worst, you’re really going to piss them off. It’s probably best to keep your lips zipped until you are asked for advice or opinions. Or you can just hold an aspirin between your lips.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.

Written by janeqpublic

March 10, 2012 at 5:15 am

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 4 of 5

The people who want to edit your birth plan are probably the same people as the “oh you’ll give that up” people. My specific examples of that are in the cloth diapering and breastfeeding situations.

I’ll complain about the cloth diapering thing today and the boob lunch counter tomorrow.

I decided early on that I was going to go with cloth diapers. I’m not terribly environmentally conscious – it isn’t that I wouldn’t like to be, but I haven’t had a lot of time to put into thought or effort on the subject. This was mostly a financial choice. Anyone will tell you, whether or not they used cloth diapers, that disposables are expensive. So we’re doing cloth to save money.

When I told my dad, the original Negative Nancy (I couldn’t think of a K word to go with Ken, but I guess Defeatist Dale would also work), that we were going to use cloth diapers, he said “Oh, you don’t want to do that. Those are a pain.” Ugh. This is so typical of him, but I wanted to punch him anyway.

One good way to handle this sort of thing is to remind them that cloth diapers are very different from they way they were 30 years ago when they were on my butt. Yes, you can still get those pre-fold things that need the pins (you can even skip the pins and go for these), and then buy a diaper cover to go over it, or you can simplify. Now they make two incredibly convenient types of cloth diapers – All-In-Ones (which are exactly as they sound – all one piece, only different from disposables in that they are washed and reused instead of thrown away), and Pocket Diapers (basically an all-in-two because the diaper has a little pocket where you put a cloth insert for absorbency). Totally easy.

To add to the convenience that’s available in cloth diapering now that my parents didn’t have with me, is the diaper sprayer. It’s basically like a kitchen sprayer that hooks up to your toilet’s water supply and enables you to rinse poop off of the diaper before you throw it into your diaper pail.

(TIP: If you purchase one that’s marketed as just a diaper sprayer, you’re going to pay around $45. Take a look at eBay, where they’re usually marked as “diaper sprayer/bidet.” I got one there for $15 or $20 and it was very easy to hook up. Plus, it helps with keeping the toilet clean.)

Anyway, cloth diapering isn’t so hard, and I’m determined to succeed at it. I’m most likely going to use disposables when I’m away from home, but I’m willing to try cloth diapers on the go. I’m also going to give cloth wipes a shot at home, but I’m not super optimistic on those.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.

Written by janeqpublic

March 9, 2012 at 5:15 am

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 3 of 5

Some folks want to change how you have your labor planned.

In a way, I feel really bad for the women who choose natural childbirth in this regard. I’ll be honest – I feel that unmedicated childbirth is unnecessary, and I really hate it when people brag about it (it reminds me of the “I don’t own a TV” people), but if you want to do natural childbirth, that is absolutely your choice and you should be able to do it. I would never tell someone not to do it that way, because how is that any different than someone else trying to set the rules for my hoo-haa with regard to the issue of choice?

If you want to give birth in your kitchen with a midwife and a towel, have at it (unless, of course, you’re going against medical advice because of something like a high-risk pregnancy). I just think these women get it really bad coming from people who tell them they shouldn’t go unmedicated, or that they will give in mid-labor. I know that if someone tried to tell me that I shouldn’t get an epidural, I would punch them in the fucking mouth, and I so I can imagine that the women doing this the opposite way feel the same.

And why should it matter so much to someone outside of the situation whether or not you get that epidural? The fact that you’ve chosen to feel the pain or not feel the pain has no effect whatsoever on their lives. People just want to be bossy.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.

Written by janeqpublic

March 8, 2012 at 5:15 am

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 2 of 5

Negative people love a pregnant woman. Well, negative people love anyone they can drag down with them, but who better to torment than someone who might be a little more disposed to stress and fear than the average person?

What I’m talking about is the “just you wait” or “you’ll change your tune” comments from veteran parents who are self-appointed experts.

First it may be about rules you want to set for your child. I see a lot of hateful condescension about this on message boards (a necessary evil of pregnancy, I’ve found) from women who already have kids toward first time moms. They scoff at mothers-to-be who are determined not to have their children run wild in a restaurant (probably the most common example). The older moms brush off the new ones and say, “Oh, silly first time moms. Just you wait until you’re juggling three kids. You’ll get over that.”

I admit that I may have to adjust some of my thinking on my “no child of mine will ever…” statements when the kid gets here, but I don’t think that because you’re a lazy parent, I have to resign myself to the same. If I work at it, I’m pretty sure I can hold my kids to the standards that I’ve always set in my mind for them.

If you think I’m going to fail at this, fine, but keep it to yourself.

That’s only the beginning.

When you get a little further into pregnancy and you start having bouts of fatigue or trouble getting to sleep, watch who you tell, because there’s always going to be someone who jumps at the chance to tell you how you may as well get used to it, because once the baby gets here, you’ll NEVER sleep again! EVER! Be afraid.

As if we haven’t been taught all of our lives through sitcoms that a new baby means a lot of lost or interrupted sleep. I know it’s going to be brutal, but I know it’s coming, and I don’t need you to remind me. Are you saying that when you went through it, it wasn’t worth it? Alright then. Shut up. Dick.

Sometimes when people assault you with so much negativity that you have to wonder if they are trying to help or trying to take away from your enjoyment of what’s going on.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.

Written by janeqpublic

March 7, 2012 at 5:40 am

My opinions, and oh, I’ve got them – Part 1 of 5

People are unintentionally annoying and/or infuriating when you’re planning a wedding. Luckily, I made it through that without harming anyone. Unfortunately, they’re a thousand times worse when you’re expecting your first baby.

I’m going to do a little venting about this over the next few days (it was a little teal deer for a single post), so you’ve been warned. I know some of y’all don’t care for the mommy stuff (whether it’s irrelevant to you because you don’t have kids or don’t want them), but it may still be interesting. At the very least, you can learn ways to not be stabbed in the eyeball by me. So keep that in mind before you decide that you don’t want to read on.

Got it? Ok. Let the complaining commence!

The first set of annoying people, who are probably most obvious, are those who feel like it’s suddenly ok to comment on your body. I’ve been told by friends that they’ve had to deal with people hounding them because they were “too small” – this, of course, has not been a problem for me, but I can totally see it happening to others.

If you’re too small, the doctor will say so and take the necessary steps from there. Your aunt is not a doctor (unless she is), and she needs to mind her own business. I think that, more often than not, these women probably aren’t too little, but in our culture, the people criticizing them have totally bought into the whole “you’re eating for two” thing.

“Eating for two” is a bunch of crap, and any pregnancy book or paperwork from the doctor will tell you so. You’re only supposed to eat 300-500 extra calories per day, based on what your doctor determines. Throw gestational diabetes into the mix and your diet gets super restrictive.

Ok, I got away from my point… So then there’s the other side of the coin. Maybe you’ve gotten really big, whether it’s because of cookie cravings (I’m guilty – this describes the majority of my first two trimesters), or maybe it’s just your genes. People will say anything – “Wow, you’re huge!” or “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” – as if these things are any less offensive and hurtful than they would be if you were just overweight and not pregnant at all. No tact.

You will also get boob comments. This is going to get to some people and not to others, but typically, it’s just not really socially acceptable to go up to someone, pregnant or not, and comment on the size of their boobs. From my experience, guys seem to know better than to try this, so most of the comments are from women. It just makes me uncomfortable if someone tells me how huge my tits are other than my husband*. Besides, mine are big to the point of being tacky rather than awesome. Just ignore the milk machines and move on, y’all.

So the body stuff bugs me, especially since I’m a self-conscious person, but that’s nothing compared to the way I react to other peoples’ constant negativity. You’ll hear about that next.

*He doesn’t really say anything about it. I think he’s scared of me. Wise.

Comments for this post are closed. I’ve learned that mothers and mothers-to-be can be an easily-angered, opinionated and judgmental group (obviously I’m no exception). In order to prevent myself from having one more thing to get mad about, I’m not really interested in hearing that you disagree. This is really my last place to vent, since Twitter and Facebook (oh especially you, Facebook) have become minefields. If you don’t like my opinion, no one’s forcing you to read.

Written by janeqpublic

March 6, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Posted in women

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Ok, I can deal with that… maybe

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I saw my regular OB today, and she said I wouldn’t necessarily have to have a C-section, especially if I went into labor before 40 weeks. A lot of it will just depend on how big the baby is, and that’s something that I have no control over. Well, I mean, I could let my blood sugar go to hell and she’d probably get really huge, but I certainly don’t want that. Man, I hate shit I can’t control.

Cesarean or not, I’ll get an epidural, so that’s a positive.

I also asked about the accuracy of the weight estimates – she said they were typically accurate plus or minus a pound. This means that the baby could be anywhere from 4.14 pounds (about right for this stage) to 6.14 pounds at the highest (way too big this early in the game). So that’s potentially encouraging – or not at all, depending on my level of optimism at any given moment.

This all brings me to a solicitation of advice. Because I want to avoid a C-section if at all possible, and because the whole being pregnant thing has gotten really old, when I hit 37 weeks (full term), I want to try as many of the unproven labor-inducers as possible – as long as they’re safe. By that I mean the things you hear about like eating pineapple, exercising, indulging in spicy foods, etc.

So if you know of something that seemed to work for you or someone you know, leave it in the comments. Ultimately, I’ll clear anything I do with my doctor before I do it. I’m sure she won’t attest to the effectiveness of it, but she can tell me if it’s safe.

Written by janeqpublic

March 2, 2012 at 4:06 am